The other night I was at dinner with some friends and one of the people in the group started talking about the changes happening in his life. He continued on with the changes in the economy and the changes in today’s society. As usual, as he was talking, my mind began to wander and it landed on the vacation our family took to California. How this vacation and my friend’s rant tie together, I did not know at that time, but it works, so bear with me.
My family went to California for a vacation and it was a dream vacation. We stayed in a condo right on the beach. One day was for San Diego, another for Orange County. We had beautiful weather, beautiful view and the whole family having fun. As I was visiting this in my mind, I came back to realize that the rant was still happening—quick back to the vacation.
What I realized is that my friend was talking to me about basic change and what we go through all the time without realizing it. Of course, being a person with ADD my thoughts went to my vacation and waiting in line for a roller coaster ride.
Man…I do not like roller coasters! I am sure most of you are brave and will not admit that you do not like them either. I have even thought about a 12 step course to get over my fear, but only made it to step 1.
While I was waiting the 45 minutes for the ride with my youngest son, I thought about all the reasons why I don’t like these types of rides. First, there are the screams. You can hear these screams all over the park. These are not just kids screaming, but grown mature adults. These are not normal screams. Many people say they are screams of joy, yet they sound like screams of fear.
Then after listening to the screams, you have to get into the car for the ride. You are committed to the ride by sitting down, and lowering the bar. YOU HAVE TO GO ON THE RIDE.
This is just like your life I realized. When you give your word to someone that you will do the “right” thing, or when your friends dare you to jump off the high dive. It was at this point of the ride when my 6 year old son says to me with wide eyes, “I WANT TO GET OFF NOW!!!” This happens while my other son is riding by himself waiting for the time of his life.
Well after that bar goes down, the people running the ride tell you the rules. “Keep hands and feet inside the car at all times. Do not release the bar; do not do this or that, etc.” Man, I am thinking this might not be a good idea for me. Then the brakes release and you move slowly to the “hill”.
Who ever invented roller coasters had a demented mind. Why would anyone use a chain to pull a bunch of scared people up a hill? The kerchunking sound is not very pleasant to hear. Along with the hill being straight up can make anyone nervous and doubt their decision.
Of course, you do the dumb thing; you look over the side and see how high up you really are going. What a mistake!! You know, you can’t see what is over the hill, is it straight down, does it take a nasty turn or just moves along smoothly. What is it, I need to know?
Well, this ride went straight down. Now, I am the one screaming at the top of my lungs. The changes in the ride were horrendous. One turn here, a quick drop there, another curve at breakneck speed and you were always climbing another hill to gain speed, yet I never knew what was on the other side. There were too many choices to send the body, mind and stomach. Where was the ride going to take me?
The ride seemed really short, either it actually was fun or I passed out. One of the two. When it was over, I did not say a thing, but my six year old was telling me as we got out of the car, “Let’s do it again!!!”
Man…I don’t like change and why was my friend evangelizing about the changes in our life. As he spoke, my stomach turned, my head hurt and where was my changes going to take me? And what was with all that screaming I heard in my head. It was the roller coaster my life is on. When we make decisions in our life, we don’t know what is on the other side. Where is it going to take us? Where will I go in my life? What will I see, and how will I feel?
I am at “half time” of my life and the question always is where do I go from here? Will it be a big drop, another hill, a smooth ride or a gut wrenching turn? What ever it is, I am going to make sure it is a ride with excitement.
As I listened to my friend, I knew we are all on this ride together and we are at the point of getting into the car. All of us have to make decisions. One do we all go on this ride together, or just a few people to on this type of adventure. You have to decide if you are ready for that bar to come down and lock you in, or will be watching people on the ride having the time of their life and you just wishing to be there.
Another thought is how do you ride this thing called life? Some people pass out, some scream, some get sick. Some hand onto the bar and have their eyes water, like my six year old son. Others do something by pure faith; they raise their hands, letting the ride take them wherever it decides to go. By the way, those are the ones screaming and having fun.
I am not asking for you to hop on a roller coaster, but to relax and understand that life is a ride. More specifically, it is your ride. Live life to the fullest and make of it what you want to make of it. I am asking that you make the decision to get on the ride at least and don’t stand on the side. You know how you want to act on this ride called life.
By the way, it was one of the best times of my life on that ride, and yes, WE did it again, no handed.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
“I deserve to be in that lane, and why are you trying to be in my lane”
I experienced this exact issue today on my way to work. Why, as a human race, we feel that we are entitled to everything. This is sooo prevalent in our younger generation. The entitlement factor is strong. It is every where and it is affecting how we treat each other. People act that other people are just “servants” to them, talk poorly and show no respect to another human being.
Today’s youth show entitlement more than I have ever seen before. I have a son who plays hockey, and the end of every hockey game, I watch as 14 year olds, just drop their hockey bag and sticks in front of their parents, and expect them to carry it to the car. The saddest part of this, is that the parent’s actually pick up the stuff and carry it to the car. Where does it say the parents must carry the equipment for the child, when it is not the parent’s stuff.
What give us, today, the thought we deserve everything should be given to us and it is not our fault. Where did this thought come from: the booming nineties, the “me” generation, or is it we are too influenced by the non-reality shows and advertisements.
My wife worked “back stage” during my daughter’s dance recital. He job was to insure that the dancer’s were safe and to lessen the confusion in the back by keeping parents and other guests from going to the back. While performing her duties, a mother and her dancer arrived to the recital an hour into the performance. My wife asked if she misunderstood the time and how she could help. The mother replied,” we had another more important engagement than this to attend”. Does that mother know she affected the whole dance class because of this? Why can they ignore the rules and do whatever they want? This has always intrigued me. So what can we do.
First, realize that we are all human beings and that we have to give respect to earn it. On the other side of the conversation is a person with emotions, feelings and thoughts. Secondly, realize we must work at everything we get and nothing is given to us. Our hard work, our efforts will provide us what we need, and if we want something we must earn it.
We are entitled to certain things. One is we are entitled to be talked nicely to, to have situations figured out fairly, and to give back to our community and the world. We are not entitled to have someone else’s opinion thrust down our throat nor are we entitled to have people treat us poorly. Why is it that our problems are always caused by someone else? We must stop that thinking. I think it is time we looked in the mirror and entitle ourselves to act properly.
Do yourself a favor and treat someone nice, and work to get something you want.
Today’s youth show entitlement more than I have ever seen before. I have a son who plays hockey, and the end of every hockey game, I watch as 14 year olds, just drop their hockey bag and sticks in front of their parents, and expect them to carry it to the car. The saddest part of this, is that the parent’s actually pick up the stuff and carry it to the car. Where does it say the parents must carry the equipment for the child, when it is not the parent’s stuff.
What give us, today, the thought we deserve everything should be given to us and it is not our fault. Where did this thought come from: the booming nineties, the “me” generation, or is it we are too influenced by the non-reality shows and advertisements.
My wife worked “back stage” during my daughter’s dance recital. He job was to insure that the dancer’s were safe and to lessen the confusion in the back by keeping parents and other guests from going to the back. While performing her duties, a mother and her dancer arrived to the recital an hour into the performance. My wife asked if she misunderstood the time and how she could help. The mother replied,” we had another more important engagement than this to attend”. Does that mother know she affected the whole dance class because of this? Why can they ignore the rules and do whatever they want? This has always intrigued me. So what can we do.
First, realize that we are all human beings and that we have to give respect to earn it. On the other side of the conversation is a person with emotions, feelings and thoughts. Secondly, realize we must work at everything we get and nothing is given to us. Our hard work, our efforts will provide us what we need, and if we want something we must earn it.
We are entitled to certain things. One is we are entitled to be talked nicely to, to have situations figured out fairly, and to give back to our community and the world. We are not entitled to have someone else’s opinion thrust down our throat nor are we entitled to have people treat us poorly. Why is it that our problems are always caused by someone else? We must stop that thinking. I think it is time we looked in the mirror and entitle ourselves to act properly.
Do yourself a favor and treat someone nice, and work to get something you want.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
I don’t mind change, I just dislike being changed
Boy isn’t that the truth! A majority of the people I talk to state that they like change, are change agents, or drive change in all of their life. Yet, when under review, not many of those people have changed much or have changed themselves. Driving change is hard to do, for we have to admit there is an issue, and then begin to change ourselves.
Looking at the business world, there are many people who will “consult” your organization through h a change. There are groups that will help you with “change management”. But when the rubber meets the road, there have been only a few businesses that have really driven change. Apple is one that is changing cell phones and how we listen to music. That is real change, and really cool. DeBeers back in the 1940’s changed the perception of the diamond. “A Diamond is Forever.” became the new slogan and changed the view on the engagement rings--forever.
Barak Obama states that he is the candidate of “change”. People embrace this type of change, for the perception is that someone else is being “changed”. If Barak stated that he is the candidate that will “change everyone” would he be as popular? I really don’t mind someone else changes, but I don’t need to change.
In talking with some business, they state that they cannot make payroll, cannot get paid and it is all because of the software and or billing service they are using. Yet, when they view a superior product or service, they are reluctant to make a change and improve their business.
For this to be different, I think the title of the book by John Ortberg fits perfectly, If You Want to Walk on Water; You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat. We have to take risks, we have to make decisions. I tell people all the time, “No decision is a decision”. Wait; think about it, you have decided not to decide. So why can’t we change and take a risk once in a while. Our fore founders of this country were not afraid to change and take risks. Wallowing in complacency has lost the innovation and drive which once made this country great.
We must embrace change and like being changed to move forward. Each year a tree buds with new leaves, reaches for the light, changes the colors of the leaves, then lets them drop, only to grow again next year. Do you hear them complain? (If you do, I have a few names of great therapists for you.) People who embrace change are the ones driving innovation and success of many businesses.
So, take the chance every now and then. You never know what may happen when you do. It may be the next IPod or a Diamond or even walk on water for your organization.
Looking at the business world, there are many people who will “consult” your organization through h a change. There are groups that will help you with “change management”. But when the rubber meets the road, there have been only a few businesses that have really driven change. Apple is one that is changing cell phones and how we listen to music. That is real change, and really cool. DeBeers back in the 1940’s changed the perception of the diamond. “A Diamond is Forever.” became the new slogan and changed the view on the engagement rings--forever.
Barak Obama states that he is the candidate of “change”. People embrace this type of change, for the perception is that someone else is being “changed”. If Barak stated that he is the candidate that will “change everyone” would he be as popular? I really don’t mind someone else changes, but I don’t need to change.
In talking with some business, they state that they cannot make payroll, cannot get paid and it is all because of the software and or billing service they are using. Yet, when they view a superior product or service, they are reluctant to make a change and improve their business.
For this to be different, I think the title of the book by John Ortberg fits perfectly, If You Want to Walk on Water; You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat. We have to take risks, we have to make decisions. I tell people all the time, “No decision is a decision”. Wait; think about it, you have decided not to decide. So why can’t we change and take a risk once in a while. Our fore founders of this country were not afraid to change and take risks. Wallowing in complacency has lost the innovation and drive which once made this country great.
We must embrace change and like being changed to move forward. Each year a tree buds with new leaves, reaches for the light, changes the colors of the leaves, then lets them drop, only to grow again next year. Do you hear them complain? (If you do, I have a few names of great therapists for you.) People who embrace change are the ones driving innovation and success of many businesses.
So, take the chance every now and then. You never know what may happen when you do. It may be the next IPod or a Diamond or even walk on water for your organization.
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